Wow..thanx for sharing! I was actually having a rough time today and your post ...well ...it helped me remeber exactly WHY I don't want to get that first script!!!
What about a support group? You sound like you would fit right in and have alot of experience that others need to hear...The time that you stayed clean did you have recovery support?? It is the only way I survive up here as a recovering dope fiend....i just can't staay clean on my own..I have 14 months heroin free..but I know that I can easily give it all up like I did so many times before....You have come along way..this is just a bump in the road..you know you can get clean again...
I am glad you are here and think you made a great start by seeking out others who understand..we gotta have it!!!
love nroth