but I know I'm doing the right thing
You know it, hold on to that....
the caring (codependent) side wants to help, feels (almost) responsible....
the thing I'm starting to learn, to really understand is that it is their job to take care of themselves. Personally, I've bailed out my H too many times; put his well-being in my hands, tried to "save" him.
She chose to stand outside your house in the cold and harass you -- I know it's easier said than done -- but try to let her worry about it now and I hope she will learn something from it.