Chino, we have a lot of the same spiritual, political views, share in a lot of the same hobbies - crafts, photography, cooking - we run into each other everywhere - school, grocery store. She doesnt work right now so yes her kids are the primary thing in her life right now.
But she really is a good friend in most ways. She is one of those people that you can call at 1:00 in the morning and always has my back. No friendship is perfect but I've been down a lot lately. I think parents going through this type of thing always question themselves so it would be nice if she could let me be proud of my daughter without always throwing in something about her's.
One thing that bothers my kids is no matter what they get involved in or do her's always have to do the same thing. My son is a phenominal guitar player so her's has to start playing. My daughter does her hair a certain way and then her daughter starts wearing her hair that way. Her kids seem to look up to mine and follow them and i wonder if this is not her way of trying to control that.
There is a lot of denial on her part and we all know its just a matter of time before her son starts getting caught by the law. Now that my son is in rehab and out of the picture I hope that she can see that its not his fault. They found a razor blade in her son's room one day and of course he claimed it was my son's. No one thought about the fact that my son hadnt been there in months - they just took his word for it. They drug tested him and since he passed they dropped it and blamed my kid. I know that the standard drug test isnt going to pick it up unless its done soon enough but just kept my mouth shut. Her son did get caught smoking pot a few weeks ago - of course just chalked up to "experimentation." Its sad and I dont want her or her son to go through what we have - I hope for his sake that he stops before it becomes more of a problem.
But honestly sometimes I just want to scream - your kid is just like mine but your too blind to see it.