winnie12

sorry this is so long

Something has been bothering me for quite a long time. I have a friend that I really do love - she is always there for me and has been a great part of my support system over the last couple of years. Her children are the same ages as mine and they are friends. Its a great situation to get together because everyone gets to hang out with a friend

Here's the downside, I'm so tired of hearing about her perfect kids all the time. As to our son's - they have been great friends for years. My AS is in rehab and she cannot see that if her son hangs out with my son and has the same friends that most likely he is into the same things as my son. Before she was always telling me whenever she heard he was using (not even considering that her's was using with him) My son actually has had a hard time being friends with her's now becuase they do "things" together but he is the only one who ever has repercussions for it because she just assumes its all my son's fault. Her husband is a bit more suspicious that their kid isnt quite as perfect as she thinks. But still she rants and raves to me about her son's grades and making varsity basketball while I have to give updates on rehab.

Then there are the daughters. Mine makes straight As, is president of student counsel, and has been a real trouper going through all of this. Her daughter she has to keep telling me is so smart becuase she is in target - she doesnt make straight As because she is just "different" from other kids and the target teacher says she's too smart for the advanced classes. blah blah blah - nothing my daughter does is ever as good as her's. Her daughter is lazy in school (which mom admits) and makes really good grades while my daughter works hard in school and makes perfect grades. I have more respect for a child that works hard then one who just sails through and doesnt apply themselves.

The final thing is that she is always poking her nose into our kids friendships. If they have an argument then she has to call me to tell me about how one of my kids was mean to her's and hurt their feelings. Okay my kids are 10 & 15 - kids at this age sometimes do/say mean things but calling their mom just seems very controlling and a bit unreasonable. My daughter hates to be compared to her friend and its actually hurts their relationship. For me, my kids are trying and they are my kids - I would never insinuate to another parent that my children are better than theirs. My AS gets caught for everything he does while her's gets away with everything he does. I havent even told her 1/2 of what I know about her son because i dont think she would believe it and I knew i might be doing it out of spite.

She doesnt mean to be hurtful and I do value her friendship but does anyone have any ideas how I can get my point across to her without hurting our friendship. I'm really nervous to talk to her about it. I also admit that there may be some jeolousy on my part - she's crazy beautiful, has a husband that adores her, has a beautiful home, etc. Yes she has her problems too - it is that side of her and how she overcomes her problems that I admire most in her. I need this woman in my life but also need to somehow let her know that it does bring me down when things are so tough right now.