Thinking how I had my now ex-AH with me thru 3 births, and Mum and Dad over each one of them and me, I cry for you going thru this on your own. Please ask if the hospital has someone to be with you as coach and friend, and don't forget that you are not alone really. You have many of us from this site and forum, thinking of you, praying for you and being with you in spirit.
God bless you and your dearest little son.