Originally Posted by
ButifulDreamer 
Im feeling, loss, pain almost as if someone has died. Im the one that wanted this - what is wrong with me? He now has a new woman and they share a life very similar to the one we had - I keep asking myself what did I do wrong that she does right? I find myself going through our 23 years together as if Im watching a movie reel.
Hi BD, I too am recently divorced.* The divorce was final 1 week after my 18th wedding anniversary.* I also wanted the divorce and the whole process took about 2 years.* At times I felt like I was run over by a truck!* Sometimes I felt such a sense of freedom, strength, and healthy emotional growth.* Mostly, I vacillated wildly between the two extremes.* Counseling and Alanon helped me a lot.My X is on his second girlfriend in 4 months.* The first was 23 years old and he is in his late 40's. That other woman thing is a tough pill for me to swallow.* But that is his life and goals and I feel sadness as I watch him abandon his kids in favor of all his new friends.* As for me, I am learning about me again because "I" got lost somewhere along the way.* My recovery is a miracle and I thank my HP all the time for letting me see I had the power in me all along.Anyway, I wanted you to know I have experienced the same feelings and it is getting better...the good days out number the grieving days.:ghug3