Newly Divorced and Feeling Hurt
I just came across this site today and I have to say I felt better after reading all these postings. I thought I was the only one feelings these things! I initiated the divorce and it took me 5 years to finally do it - I couldnt take the Alcoholics craziness anymore. He begged, he pleaded, etc.... but he never stopped the drinking. I just recently legalized it and now Im feeling, loss, pain almost as if someone has died. Im the one that wanted this - what is wrong with me? He now has a new woman and they share a life very similar to the one we had - I keep asking myself what did I do wrong that she does right? I find myself going through our 23 years together as if Im watching a movie reel. But I have to keep reminding myself that it isnt about me it was about his alcoholism and the fact I HAD to get out before I went crazy. I am now free and I even though I started practicing detachment a couple of years ago I could not truly have a sense of peace until I physically was away and not married anymore. I have a grown daughter and she blames me, my ex's family blames me - I am treated as if I never existed and this rubs off on my daughter. I am still fairly young and am seeing someone new but still I am hanging on to the old.