Complex stuff MLE, and we've talked about it. I'm going through similar stuff.
I keep soming back to Gandhi: "Be the change you want to see in the world." That is all I can do...
Sometimes a field needs to lie fallow for a while in order to restore its fertility.
Sometimes doing nothing is a very active thing.
Sometimes distrust is an exercise in power. For some time, the man was powerless to your disease. He now knows you need something from him and it can be a political weapon. He may need time to "disarm." I'm not suggesting that is the truth, just stating a possibility.
Love is only valuable when it is freely given. I remind myself of that daily. I do not "deserve" it, I can do little to "earn" it. I can only throw it away. When we are lovable, we will be loved. But we don't get to choose who that will be.
warren