Sometimes I wish that breakups were like being fired or quitting a job. You and the boss have a meeting, decide things aren't working, you pack up your stuff from your desk, you walk out the door and it's DONE. No lingering emails, no painful phone calls, no more contact EVER.
Sadly, it hasn't been that way in my world. I have been on both sides of the deal - the breaker upper and the dumpee. I've done the weeping and the wailing, I've done drive bys to see who he was with or what he was doing, I've told myself I won't answer that call or read that email... and then I do, and I'm sucked back into the drama one more time.
As I have learned more about recovery, I've made some changes. NOW when I say it's over, I mean it. I still have doubts and I still make some mistakes, but it's better. In my last painful breakup, I had some good recovery friends whom I could call when I really wanted to call HIM. They listened to me and then helped me to remember why I wasn't with him anymore. Others here have found help in journaling. That way they can go back and read what they wrote... again, remembering the pain and the sadness and the reasons that the relationship isn't working anymore.
It gets better, slowly but surely. Do something extra nice for yourself today. You deserve it!