Just an update
Well it's been almost 3 weeks, and I know that I have made some progress, because I no longer constantly feel sick to my stomach. So I guess I should be focusing on that, and not on how I"m still have a rough time. I am just missing Chris so much. I am so lonely.
Monday at work, I received a phone call from Chris. I had a stupid moment, and actually let him talk, he seemed at first like he was gonna be nice. Then he comes out with how he heard last weekend that when I went down South to visit my friend, I let a mutual friend of ours ride with me. Chris was in the probation center at the time, and when our friend asked if he could ride with me, I agreed because he was going to help with gas money. (he is the best friend of my friend's hubby). I didn't tell Chris....which was wrong, I shouldn't have hidden it, but if I did it would have been a huge fight. So he's not known this for 2 years. Well anyway he found out about that this weekend, so he called me to throw that in my face, I guess. Then he goes on to say he also found out about a guy I was involved with BEFORE we were even together. Stupid me, I should have known, I can't talk to him, he's not gonna be nice.
So then I say to him, "why are you calling me, anyway, you've moved on". And he said well I just wanted to know why you hid that from me. And I said well because I didn't feel I could come to you and tell you, I said what about all the lies and stuff you hid from me? Then I told him I was busy and had to go, because there was no point in the conversation.
Then I get off the phone and was so angry, that he would call me like that, just to try and make me feel bad. Why the heck would he do that, for real???? I mean he's met this other girl, he's seeing her and yet feels the need to call me to throw my mistakes in my face. I don't get it.
And he's acting like this innocent man, oh poor Chris, Wendy hid something from him. What about all the f-in crap he hid from me? Drugs, women, alcohol, going to bars, staying out all weekend, verbal abuse? What about all that? Now he's acting like this innocent victim...ugh!
So I decide to write a letter and take it to him at work. I ended up handing it right to him (he looked rough by the way, I was kind of glad for that). On the back of the envelope I wrote "we all make mistakes, hopefully we can learn to forgive". And I handed it to him and told him that this is goodbye, she can have him. And I turned around and walked away, never looking back. He said "Hey, what you wrote on the back of this, see..." and I just got in the car. I'm sure he's probably thinking I should just forgive him and the fact that he asked a girl out 2 days after I kicked him out.
He tried calling me several times after I got back to work, I'm assuming after he read the letter, like 6-7 times, I didn't answer, didn't have anything to say and certainly didn't want to hear him make me feel bad again.
:codiepolice