MLE I feel for you. I damaged a lot with my drinking and only time and action on my part will ever regain the trust that I lost. Just keep on track, your recovery sounds like it is going well with AA and treatment.
I am sorry if this is a dumb question but are you doing marriage counseling with him or are you seeing a counselor and then bringing home assignments for him? The reason I ask is you mentioned the following,
"In terms of what I think he could do, he thought it was ridiculous that he would have anything to do since, after all, it's my problem, not his."
What does the therapist say about this attitude? Last time I checked, it takes two people to be in a marriage and a problem that effects one will effect the other.
I say this as a person who is still working on his marriage and as a person who wants to see you succeed in yours.
Thanks for posting and I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.
:praying