Hi mle. I know you've had this problem for quite awhile, I was hoping he was beginning to understand a bit. I have a similar problem, not with my husband, but my mother. She doesn't understand at all, and probably would never "lower" herself to go to Al-anon meetings or even read any of the great books on the subject. I suspect she's one of those who believe it's a character flaw, a weakness.
I hid my stash from my husband, too, and even though he can't relate to what I went through, he sees the life I live now and he trusts me to continue this way. I'm not sure why. He embraces the change in me rather than holding those awful days against me. Your husband is probably afraid to lower his defenses and trust you completely. Maybe he's trying to protect himself from being too hopeful and being hurt again.
I agree with Dee that you've done all you can (and I hope I'm not being too defensive on your behalf.) At this point his inability to move forward is his problem. It isn't fair that you should be held back by his attitude, you've tried so hard to make it this time.