How can we rebuild trust?
My marriage therapist has instructed both my husband and myself to write down things we can each do (and ideas for what the other can do) to help us heal from my betrayal around alcohol.
My betrayal is that, as my alcoholism was getting really bad, I lied and hid my drinking from my husband for nine months. My lying really strongly affected him, of course. And now he feels distrustful in general. He has said that he thinks I probably had afairs (which I didn't) and that 25% of him doesn't believe me most of the time.
I'm in individual therapy, in AA, have a sponsor, am working the steps, went through an outpatient program and am continueing the aftercare one-night-a-week followup program. I've obviously apologized.
He says he forgives me.
I think one of the things I can think of to help that I could do would be to give him more time.
Other than that and what I'm currently doing, I can't think of anything! Any ideas?
In terms of what I think he could do, he thought it was ridiculous that he would have anything to do since, after all, it's my problem, not his.
So, I think he could go to Al-anon. He could educate himself about alcoholism (are there any of us that didn't lie to protect our beloved alcohol?) and he could go to individual therapy to address his control needs (another topic in a way but still related.)
Any other ideas?
I thought, since you guys are my best reference on alcoholism, I'd just throw it out there... if there arent any idea, I understand. It's kind of a strange question.
Thanks.