I'm sure I was medicating when I drank. It's been a little over 14 years since I've had a drink When I initially came back to AA after a relapse, I got a sponsor, worked the steps and had a service commitment. Life got better for a while. I was able to walk through fear but still had issues with anxiety around people. I also still suffered from depression.
I saw a shrink in I believe it was 1999 and was prescribed anti-depressants. I tried several of them but they didn't seem to help all that much. I changed jobs and stopped seeing her. In 2004 I moved and any type of major stress brings on depression. I didn't want to move but had issues with the neighbors. It turned into a legal thing and I figured it was time to move before I took matters into my own hands.
I asked for my Higher Power whim I choose to call God, for the knowledge of his will for me and the courage and strength to carry it out. I asked one time to get the house I ended up with but retracted the prayer. I never thought that maybe I wasn't supposed to buy another house. The new house has a much heftier mortgage and now seems like more of a burden rather than a blessing. My mind tells me that I should have pocketed the money I got from the sale of my house and became a renter again. But back then it seemed like home prices were only going up.... Who knew that we were headed for togh economic times?
Anyway, the anti-depressants (Lexapro) that I started in 2004 helped but I didn't like the sexual side effects. In June, without consulting my doctor or my sponsor I stopped taking them. Things were great for a while then I became extremely depressed again. When I started taking them again in late August/Early Sept., I had a reaction or seemed to.... it may have been the economic collapse that triggered the anxiety, I don't know. I started taking Lexpro again on a Friday. Monday I had acute anxiety... I made it to work Mon,Tue and Wed. On Thursday I called in sick. I noticed that I was feeling just a little better until I took the Lexapro which is where I got the idea that it might be the cause. I called my sponsor and spoke with my doctor. He wanted me to continue taking Lexapro for a few more days. It was a very rough time. He finally had me stop taking Lexapro and after a couple of days prescribed Zoloft. I haven't experienced severe anxiety but I still feel depressed, not as bad as before I started taking the Zoloft but bad enough.
I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor as I've asked him for a referral to a shrink to see if I might be suffering from Bi-Polar II. I've always thought that I couldn't be Bi-Polar because I hadn't experienced a manic state but then someone responded to one of my posts and said that they had been diagnosed with BP II and they had not experienced a manic state either.
Despite trying to look at the positive, praying and giving thanks for all that I have been given, life is a real drag right now. I won't commit suicide because of my religious beliefs but I'm really tired of this life.
I believe that anti-depressants help some more than others. I'm glad you have found some relief from depression after you quit drinking.
Best of luck.