Today I stood up for myself AGAIN with my exabf and he went ballistic. He actually asked to borrow 20 bucks because he needed to buy stuff for our daughter. I said tell me what she needs and I will pick it up. He exploded and said that I was a theif because I wouldnt pay him back the money I "owe" him for the rent he paid (over his head and his kids' head) in September. I couldnt believe that.
But then I realized he was trying to cop me for money. That is what addicts do. They try to blame you for the situation that they themselves have chosen. Believe me they arent living it up. It sucks bad for them and you know it because their actions are speaking. And when it gets bad enough for them they will get help.
Try to keep telling yourself that you will get through this. Read some of the posts here and believe me you will understand the "whys" and "how comes". It hurts so much for us because we cant take a pill to make us forget or feel better. But you know what WE are the ones that are better off because of that very reason. Good luck to you. Keep posting. Know its ok to grief but also know its ok to say "hey I dont deserve this even from someone I LOVE".