Thank all of you so much for your help... I really do need to attend meetings. And, you are all right, I need to let go. It's REALLY hard for me to do that, but I know it's exactly what I have to do... for both of us really. And yes, anvilhead, you are exactly right. When my ABF told me I "needed" to go to Alanon meetings, I dug in my heels. It wasn't a great feeling, and I can only imagine that's how he reacts in his own mind also. I appreciate all of the help!!!