When I had a bit of time working the steps and going to meetings, I found myself reevaluating and reexamining nearly every relationship I had. I made a decision to distance myself from those people who were toxic, or those with whom the relationship was toxic. I distanced myself for awhile, and I slowly went back to some relationships, while others I let die. Many of my relationships changed as I brought new tools and new insight into the mix.
I can understand my mom, now, much better than I could before. I realize she's doing the best she can. I have to work constantly at allowing her to say what she says and MY not taking it personally. Although she's not the A in my life, she most likely grew up in an alcoholic home and she bears some of that skewed thinking as a result.
Good question, Brundle!