Originally Posted by
brundle 
Back to my question; since working on me I find more and more that I just don't like putting up with unacceptable behavior even from the people I use to let it slide more often. Is this part of recovery? Or am I just being over sensitive? I don't think wanting some distance from this is a bad thing, like not talking to her as much, but I wanted to hear from some of you. Or is this me just not wanting to deal with things? I hate confrontation!
I, too, dislike confrontation. The truth is, I don't know anyone who really relishes a big, uncomfortable conversation with someone they care about.
Today, my unacceptable behavior meter has a pretty low threshold - I feel like I can detect the stuff from across the room.
If someone consistently tries to manipulate me
or lie to me
or tell me how to run my business,
I can choose to confront them about the behaviors that I find unsettling, or I can opt to decrease their involvement in my life.
For me, recovery hasn't changed the way that I feel about confrontations entirely - I still strongly dislike them. It
has changed what I'm willing to put up with, what I'm willing to silently suffer through. It has lead me to weigh the pain caused by "putting up with it" against the pain of "speaking up about it."
I more frequently speak up these days.
If you aren't able to manage that quite yet, just be gentle with yourself. There's nothing wrong with taking a little time out from the relationship that's causing you difficulty.
Best of luck, and lots of strength to you!
-TC