I am so sorry about your loss and I hope you have the energy to be good to yourself! :ghug
As for your man, I was once in a relationship with a bipolar man (who also had psychotic episodes) and while the breakup threw me into a terrible depression, I am so grateful now that he cheated and lied while manic and I broke up with him. I have the utmost respect for people who have bipolar and work on managing and treating it, but never in a million years would I get involved with an unmedicated bipolar, ESPECIALLY one who self-medicates with alcohol. It is a constant rollercoaster and even if one day he decides to go on meds, there is never a guarantee that he will stay on them when swinging into mania or hypomania.
I was obsessed with that man and it was an intense relationship and it took me a while to really get over it (I needed therapy and meds to deal with that breakup), but I have saved myself so many nightmares. Shortly after his mania, he went into a depression and hid a gun under his bed to shoot himself. Then he was manic again.
I am now with an alcoholic, which is difficult, but to imagine being with an alcoholic bipolar man who is in denial sounds absolutely impossible for me. Please don't get sucked back in. Take it as a sign and move on. My ex was the most attentive, sweet, loving man until he turned into Dr. Jekyll, then he was sweet, then cheated, and so it goes to this day...He was never violent with me, but he verbally abused the girl he was with after me and is on the road to becoming an abuser.
Good luck to you. Please think hard about this one.