We were not getting a divorce when I left. I was giving her space to think about things. What she actually did was use the time to drink herself into this state where she is ok and the rest of us (me, her parents and her children) are all unreasonable. All with the help of her favorite drinking buddy (her aunt) who has gone through 4 marriages.
Don't get the wrong idea that I was just coming in and out. I have respected her request for no contact. I just needed winter clothing which is all still in my house. I guess I thought I was complying with her wishes by just getting it. I had written her an email asking if the furnace was ok (it was 29 degrees here last night) and the animals were all ok. I never got an answer. So I just thought I would go check. Maybe my thinking was askew. I don't know.
Do you think that the outcome would have been different if I had called first?
I understand what you are saying, it is just taking a minute to sink in. I hadn't really looked at it from her point of view.