It took other moms who had more experience than me to tell me a few things about my son:
Even if he's not using, he still may have "using behaviors."
If I had confirmation that he was using again, what difference would it make? If he's acting inappropriately or crossing some of my boundaries, I need to take action ~ the action that is right for me.
Those wise moms also told me that nothing I say or don't say will make him use or not use. He uses because he's an addict.
Rehab takes time. I did best when I poured myself into Al Anon meetings and reading a ton of recovery literature. I had to keep the focus on me and not on him. (and I've had more than one "him")
Hugs from mom to mom
Cats