Hmmm it took me a while to finish my last post on this thread and when I clicked done I saw things that saddened me even more and wonder how this will spiral out. I see some vaild points coming from all, but I also am concerned by some.
When dealing with drugs and alcohol there are no winners...this is a common truth I am sure all can agree on....the welfare of the kids is another and the mans career. The one thing that needs to be clear is their is a difference between an addict/alcoholic and the children. The kids are victims of cirumstance and if there is an option that is available that will not affect the mans job than it really is a non-issue. Through the right channels the problem can be addressed without a career going down the tubes....in fact there are many employers that help their employees before firing them and in many cases if someone is fired for drug or alcohol related stuff the drinker or drug user has brought it upon themselves.....to suggest its the fault of a concerned person is not really fair.
birdie....I feel what you are saying and if what you say is true than a trip to the base padre/chaplain/priest/minister or whatever is a good option and a step forward for the kids that don't have a voice.
Trish...you are a very passionate person that takes things to heart and that is great, but sometimes its easier to not include personal family stuff...the reason I suggest this is that we tend to have clouded glasseson when it comes to our families....I hurt my mom emotionally all the time and I know it now, but if you ask my mom about my drinking days she will say I tried hard...did my jobwell...cared deeply forfamily and she is right, but I also made mistakes that hurt those people at the time and in a few cases almost killed some of them....drunk driving. I am sure your grandfather was or is a great man and in your eyes as a child could do no wrong, but the truth is not always revealed from an alcoholic on how things play out now is it? I have read threads regarding your battle with drugs and commend you deeply, but you reveal your own ways of deception with your dad and your drug problem....could it not be said your grandfather did the same thing and the neighbor complaint be only a part of a bigger problem? My heart does feel for you and this is by no means an attack.
We are all battling the same demons and once in a while our new found freedom from a disease that holds no favors to anyone gives us a chance to do right by others....unless these kids are seriously beaten, starving or on deaths door his job would be safe and the military will help him....there are so many resources available....especially in todays situations....there are alcohol/drug councilors available to all servicemen because of the guys and gals returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.... the military isn't stupid anymore and acknowledges that drugs and alocohol are being used as a coping method... its not easy spending every minute of everyday wondering if you will die and or have to kill...hell I drank for less stress than that.
I see a person asking for advice on a very difficult situation and commend her for wanting to do something good. What happened in each of our pasts can be drawn from and presented as advice, but to condemn someone for wanting to help goes against why I searched for all of you. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life...coming to this site will not be one of them....this is about healing and helping and not hurting and blaming....
lets keep the focus...drugs and alcohol are the ememy here...not each other and by no means potential children victims.
Take deep breathes....type....
thank you for keeping me glued to my computer and creating a situation where at least I am not drinking or doing drugs....
Bless you all....
Keep up the fight,
Chuck