breakfree....ok, hope it's alright for me to post a long one on this thread....
First....I went through the alchohol is but a symptom of the problem, so if I fix myself..my real problem I could drink again....My expereince for me is it is down right wrong.....that said, I would save that problem for another day...today the focus might be better on I want to be sober now, and I need to change.
I wanted to quit drinking and kept drinking for 7 or 8 long years. Part of what happened for me when i did finally get sober was the realization that I was not who I was. At first it was crushing...I had been drinking and clinging to the idea that I was still who I was so hard...I really didn't want to let it go.
I had been an inspiring VERY respected person in my career field...a leader and mentor relied on by many people. I was the model of the independant single mom woman....I can't really explain it, but I had a very strong definition of who I was and I LIKED it.
When I finally put down the bottle I had to accept that maybe I wasn't who I use to be .... I was clinging to self and it was killing me. I decided to open up to who I could be now.
I am still well respected in my field, but I am no longer the "go to" girl...I have a different role today. I was never a good mom before, but today I am. I just have different purposes in life at this point...and I remember at least so far...that Who I Am will change moment by moment and clinging to who i was will ruin my life.
Things get better when I am sober, but they get better in different ways than I guess I wanted them or expected them to..sobriety doesn't take me back to the past glories...it takes me forward to new ones.
sorry to be such a philosopher but it just came out that way today! And yeah...deal with the if i get well i could drink socially thing another day.