First visit in rehab - made me want to scream
My daughter and i had our first visit with AS in rehab. The chain of events was:
1. i didnt know you were bringing me food - i'm not hungry - i already ate this same thing for lunch - why did you do this mom? (oh well dont eat it then)
2. have you called my ex gf, have you called my dad, have you called my dad's girlfriend, have you called my friends, do you know if my dad is out of jail - i'm so worried about him and love him and want to see him - its really making everything hard and you dont understand mom, i.e., if you had done these things i wouldnt feel like this. (no - not my responsibility)
3. will you sneak my ex gf in? (no)
4. bring me more clothes, buy me some books/magazine, bring me photos - here's a list of what i want you to bring/buy me before sunday's visit. (i'll do what i can)
5. why didnt you bring my guitar (then two minutes later) I dont want my guitar up here. (whatever)
6. we dont have school here like they told you mom - i just play video games instead (i dont believe you) - he made a point to tell me several other things about the facility that i was wrong about.
7. I like AA meetings but i'm not going to do all the workbooks to move up levels. (then you wont get out)
8. After giving me my directives for the next week he says, You can just leave now mom. (fought the urge to call him a selfish little punk and instead left went to my car with my daughter and she and i both screamed in frustration)
He didnt ask how his sister and i were - He didnt say he loved us even though he told us how much he loved other people and missed them - made it very clear that these other people were what he needed and not us (to which i said "well they're not here and we are." He didnt thank me for the medical supplies or all the snacks that I brought up to him (diabetics have to lots of snacks available) - just told me i needed to do more for him.
I didnt not expect overnight changes - But i didnt raise my child to be so rude. If he expects me to bring him things (even if i dont have to buy them) then i expect - no I demand - that a minimum he says please and thank you.
I really dont want to go back and see him until we have counseling together but that could be weeks. I have to decide about visiting tomorrow (which he is expecting) and i dont know what to do. I dont mind bringing him things he wants that i dont have to buy (clothes) but i just cant allow him to treat me like his personal slave anymore. Why does this make me so angry still?