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I drank for 28 years and for the last 15 of those years, I knew I was an alcoholic. I drank every day (with the exception of about 10 days . . . that were not consecutive . . . . during that 15 year period).
Every morning for 15 years, I woke up and my first thought was "I'm not going to drink today." I have no idea what I thought at night when I went to bed because I was a blackout drinker . . . And every day, the first thing I did when I got home from work was head for the bottle. When I tell my story in AA, I often say that I relapsed every day for 15 years.
On the morning of March 8, 2001 I woke up and even though I'd said it over 5,000 times before, I knew. I was dead certain sure, that I was not going to drink again.
The obsession was gone. And it's never come back . . . . and I haven't had a drink since my last one on the night of March 7, 2001 . . . . and I hope I never have a drink again.
I don't believe in a Higher Power who is directly involved in our lives or one who hears our prayers . . . but every now and then I think that perhaps the reason my obsession was removed was because the universe knew I couldn't stop drinking on my own so the universe removed the obsession for me.