Hi there,
I just came upon this thread and just HAD to reply. I even read through all four pages of posts.
FMC, I had to read through your original post AT LEAST 3 times, examining details, to make sure you weren't my husband. I haven't landed in the hospital (yet) because of my drinking so I'm pretty sure you're not (LOL) but otherwise... there aren't many differences in the story.
Me and TTOSBT have an awful lot in common, too, so as I read the exchanges between the two of you I started to cry.
At one point you said that you are hoping that, by making changes now, you and your wife can change things/fix things before they get worse. That's the same situation I'm in. I'm trying very hard to not have a lot of the "bottoms" that other people have had, but I'm positive that I have already inflicted an awful lot of hurt that I don't realize.
Based on what I've read, you sound an awful lot like my husband... and that's a REALLY GOOD thing.
I admire your love and support.
I honestly hope, for your entire family's sake, that this works out. You're in my thoughts. Please don't hesitate to PM me if you ever want to talk.
-TSH