earthgirl18, Welcome
Your story is like mine. I met my AH in college. The drinking was fun, the problem was he kept drinking more and more. My AHs drink of choice was beer. I now says that in part he was able to live in denial because he told himself he was only drinking beer. I could go on but that is his story.
I went to Alanon by myself also, and I was very afraid of what I would find.
I did talk to a person that I had worked with that turned out be active in AA, (I had no idea) and she was a comfort and encouraged me to go.
I will do that for you. Do go to a meeting and if its not a good fit, try a different meeting. They should have a schedule at the meeting. Go at least 6 times. You don't have to talk, you can just sit and listen. (or like me cry, do what you need to do)
What I learned at Alanon and here at SR is that this is my life and I get to make choices about what I want to do and how I want to live.
Good luck and welcome.
