Welcome, earthgirl!
I can understand the nervousness about the first meeting.
If it makes you feel any better, my first Alanon meeting wasn't anywhere close to as nerve-wracking as I thought it would be. Just a bunch of nice people (many of whom seemed to have their lives pretty well together!) sitting around discussing what worked for them and what they were working on.
No one asked me to speak. I just sat and listened.
It wasn't earth-shattering, but it gave me a taste of what recovery (for me) could look like - Peace.
No one at the meeting was openly weeping or complaining about how difficult their life was. No one was talking negatively about their alcoholic loved ones. They were serene and loving and self-aware. It was an inspiring and encouraging experience.
Good for you for taking steps to improve your life. I know that it isn't easy to watch someone you love drink destructively. I applaud your ability to distinguish between "what is a problem for you" and "what is a problem for him." Your problems matter, too.
Keep posting and take care.
I'm glad that you're here.
-TC