Hiya Earthgirl!
Muster that courage and try that AlAnon meeting!!
You can just sit quietly and listen, there is no obligation to speak.
AlAnon really turned my head around. Gave me some good tools and started me on a road of self-discovery and positive change. They say to try to go to 6 meetings before you decide if it is for you. That first meeting can seem awkward but remember everyone is there for the same reason as you, and everyone walked in nervous and feeling all alone to that first meeting!
Good luck- stick around SR too and keep reading & posting!!
Peace-
B.