Tawight,
I had to reply to your post, as the same thoughts and mind games played on me. My husband became addicted to crack after 18 years of marriage and 2 sons together who were 11 and 14 at the time he became addicted. My husband was 42 years old and ran off with an 18 year old crack prostitute.
The thoughts that haunted me of what I could have done better for him, how could he leave me for this type of life....but he didn't just leave me, he left his 2 sons as well and he loved them so much. That is when I really realized just how powerful this drug is and at any cost or loss, the crack comes first!
Rose