When is enough...when will it stop?
Two very different questions!
The first seems to be one you can answer.
The second seems to be a question to her and most likely she cannot give you an honest answer.
Do I and can I keep waiting?
I waited a long time for my exH to change. It took the time that it took for me to see he was doing exactly what he needed to do to be HIM so why would he change?? When I stopped waiting and changed myself, everything changed!
Sounds like a tough, sad cycle you are in... sending you a prayer for clarity, and courage and peace for you and the boys....
Peace-
B.