rozied,
I agree with marle. I hear alot of blaming on your part. Remember those 3 C's.....
I remember a time when every little or big thing any of my kids did, or failed to do; I felt reflected on my performance as a parent...not that I was ashamed of them but I felt responsible for not being a better mom. Now I realize that what my kids do and perhaps have done past the their preteen years....is a reflection of their own choices, not mine.
I am now at a place where I can say: "I am a good mom, I raised my kids with all the love and care that I had to offer, now the rest is up to them."
You are a good mom, rozied- it's obvious how much you care for your sons.
For me it was all about letting them go and cutting the apron strings that I had kept tied between my _heart & mind_ and their _actions & decisions_. I gave my all as a mom...as have so many of us here; and alot of what has happened was not on my agenda for them.
It took until my sons were in their mid 20's for me to accept them as the grown men they are. I still have some momentary slips, but I will never, never stop caring about them and we remain as close as ever but there is a healthy distance between us now that wasn't there before I found some recovery.
Chris' HP is looking out for him and as a mom I also understand how hard it is to watch someone struggle, but like the butterfly waiting to emerge from it's cocoon- nobody can help in the process of growing up except for that person themself.
It is for his own good that changes must be made. He cannot go on living his life being so dependent on me.
It's good to know you are taking action and making changes, nice work mom.
