Thank you so much Marle, I am at the point where I'd don't care if he likes me or not. It is for his own good that changes must be made. He cannot go on living his life being so dependent on me. The fact that I let it go on for this long is what is upsetting me, though I also know I cannot change the past and it is what I do know that counts.
You know once a child is used to hearing yes they quack like crazy when you start saying no, and I say no alot lately. I just want both my sons to have happy productive lives and at their age it is loooong past time.