Okay, now MY posts are getting lost in cyberspace. Then I couldn't find this thread for several minutes?
Anyway, I think it's great you have a friend in recovery. I would suggest you and he go to your own meetings, although he may want you to go to a couple with him at first. You can be much more open about your feelings that way.
We RA's DO beat up on ourselves pretty bad, but just remember..you're feelings are valid, too. That's why it helps to have some support outside the relationship.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy