I HATE when my posts get lost in cyberspace.
When I relapsed, almost 20 months ago, and got into recovery, I struggled with some of what he's talking about. I am living with my dad/stepmom/niece, and my dad was very agnry with me (and rightly so). He would also throw things from my past at me, and at first I just let it go.
However, after a few months of working hard at my job, being where I said I was going to be, when I said I would be, paying bills, and being totally responsible, he got mad about something that had nothing to do with me and brought up my past. THEN, I said "that's who I was, and what I did...that's not me today, and I have already apologized" and it's never been brought up again.
BUT, if he even has an inkling that I'm using, I'm out of the house. He doesn't need proof. He has boundaries and I have to respect that.
The rare times I have thought of using, I've never told my dad until AFTER the fact because I know the fear that would cause him, and I've put him through enough. That's why I have my friends in recovery...all of them here
I have family that loves me, but they are unable to support me in certain ways only another RA (recovering addict) can, because they don't understand addiction. Unless you've lived through it, you can't understand. Heck I lived through it and I still don't understand how I could have been so stupid, but I was.
If you can't find nar-anon meetings, look for al-anon...there are usually more of them and you will get the same kind of support. I also had to deal with MY codie issues as I was big on trying to control people/things.
SR is great, but f2f support is an added bonus.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy