I managed to get out of yesterday's bad 'kid-inflicted' mood, but she's determined to f*ck with my mind. Now, after picking her ass up from a friend's house and bringing back in my van our neighbor's borrowed bike (cause she didn't want to ride home in the dark and didn't think to ride home BEFORE it got dark!!!) she's throwing a fit cause I'd brought two of her stuffed animals in my room to 'keep me company' while she's in college!! Telling me she doesn't want me taking her 'stuff' while she's gone.
The little brat didn't mind my going in her room to find stuff she wanted me to bring up to her, 70 miles and 90 minutes away. I guess when I'm not doing her bidding I'm pretty much useless and annoying. I'm flippin sick of her nasty hateful attitude. She denies being "hateful" but that's the only word that describes it - HATEFUL and mean. It's a good thing I'm in this sobriety thing for ME or I'd be drunk as hell right now. But I don't want to give her any (more) ammunition for hating me than she already has, the snotty little brat.
None of my kids were raised to behave like this, and the oldest was never this bad as a teen, but the youngest three have made my misery their f*cking mission in life. Well, their arrows have hit the mark and I feel mortally wounded. This is the kid I was closest to out of the three youngest and she's making it all too plain that she doesn't like me much. I still love her but I really wish I didn't. It would be so much easier for me if I could honestly hate her. She takes what I offer her with one hand and 'slaps' me with the other.
I really wish I'd stopped having kids after the first one. But hindsight is 20/20 vision and my real 'vision' is legally blind. How could I not see this coming?? Am I that stupid? Or just worth so much hate and disrespect?
I give up. I don't give a sh!t if she comes home for Christmas or not. Maybe I'll suggest she stay with her dad while I TAKE TOTAL CARE OF HER CAT!! Insolent little sh!t. I swear every time I've had contact with her since she left for college she's been hateful, mean, and rude. Even when bringing her stuff up to her and buying things for her to make her life easier. Well, NO MORE OF THAT. She's on her own now til she matures enough to learn gratitude and respect. She doesn't have to actually love me, just a little pretending would be nice.
