i need to let go of bad behaviors if i want to become entirely ready for the defects to be removed. the willingness i need in step 6 is a willingness to act differently. i can not expect god to remove paralyzing fear if i lock myself in my room. i can not expect to have explosive anger removed if i fly out of control all the time. i have to accept responsibility for my behavior, no more blaming the disease or anything else. accept it and try to do better. i also need to realize the pain that the defects are causing me. pain is a great motivator. i get closer to being ready when i see the havoc that they cause. putting things off that need to be done, not making a decision out of fear, curling up in a ball and doing nothing because of self pity. lashing out out of anger and hate. there is a lot of changes i need thank god i dont have to do them all at once. it is a life long process, i just need to improve, a day at a time.
