Do they really not care?
Do you think that the alcoholic/addict who leaves his family for alcohol really quits caring about the kids? Do you think they think about the kids? For me that's the toughest thing to wrap my head around is how do you hurt your own children? My ah is an educated man. He says he loves our children sooooooooo much but never calls them or see's them and blames it on not getting along with me. The reason he doesn't get along with me is because I do not allow alcohol around us. Sometimes he'll even shed a tear on the phone.
Part of me wants to wreck his job so he HAS to come home and face his responsibilities. I don't because it's toxic for the kids. It's horrible either way, with or without him.
I just don't get what's so bad you have to numb it and it's so important that you would let it stand in the way of your children.