Congrads on 4 days sober and welcome to SR.... Im glad that you found us and its good to hear you "have a desire" to be sober.
Most of the Alcoholics I know are wonderful people... and its sad that some I know continue to keep putting their Soberity on hold for one reason or another. Only you can answer if you should stop drinking and when.....
I got help for my disease when the pain got bad enough, when I could not look people in the eyes and be honest it gave me feelings of shame, worthlessness and hopelessness. That is when I walked into my first Al-anon meeting.... and when the pain/shame of my behavior was worse then the pain of being honest and getting help .... that is when I stayed and changed my behavior. Not easy for anyone and I had to make some really hurtful/hard choices.....
But today Im free of the shame, dishonesty and pain.... I may not be proud of some of the things I have done in my past but I no longer feel like I have to hide them or be controlled by them. I can admitt who I am and be grateful.
I wish the same for you, stick around.... I think you would be suprised at how much many of us have in common.