BeachAngel

My, that sounds terrible even just typing it.

I have posted before about my fear of going back into AA. I was in AA for 42 days and then went back out for 5 months. Today I have 4 days and I am really excited about the future!

A lot of my fear has to do with the fact that I cannot be totally honest about who I am. I am also worried because my line of work is almost "required drinking". I searched the forum and can't find any info along the lines of my specific problem....

So....I am a high end escort/call girl. I started because of financial reasons, I am trying desperately to get out, but I have a child in need of financial resouces. I primarily do dinner dates and drinking is expected. I started a new business that has gone beyond my expectations and I expect to be out of the "business" in the next 90 days.

For now, I must do this to provide for my childs needs. The problems are:

1) I can't be honest in the rooms. Will this thwart by ability to overcome this problem? I am afraid to get a sponsor because I can't be totally honest with her.

2) Most of my clients prefer to drink Champagne or wine with me. I am learning to stay away from people, places and things but it is difficult as an escort.

My child will suffer if I quit escorting (earning money). Should I put sobriety on hold until I no longer need to escort? I have been telling my clients that I have eliminated alcohol in my diet but they want me to have "just a sip of Champagne" to start the evening. They have no idea that I am an alcoholic.

If I am anything, I am a wonderful mother. I am also a great friend, sister, daughter, business person and generally a great person. I am not a bad girl, I just happen to have some problems that seem to have no solution.

Please advise.

Thanks!