Thanks for the replies. I don't want to take away from this thread. But I know I have two days to get myself together and go back to work. Talking to somebody is a good idea. I went to a couple of alanon meetings and even though I enjoyed them, I stopped going. I guess I just didn't want to face just how sick I am. I live in a rural area and there are a few a week.
For me, I just need to go and keep on going. Like I said when I read about members and our kids it hits so close to home. I do understand the feelings and the pain. My last therapist told me part of my problem was I was loyal to anyone and everyone, even when it was not deserved. I think I should journal on that, as it has stayed with me for a long time.
Time for a huge change for me. Thanks for being there.