I spent a long time trying to get my ex to see how he had behaved abusively towards me. I found it a frustrating waste of time.
Sure, there were times when he apologized. But in the end:
He is trying to label me "crazy" for saying he abused me, and getting sympathy from women who do not know me (or him) and think that I am making things up. Whatever.
And I have moved on to helping people who deserve it.