jsl101484

Hello everyone,

First, let me introduce myself. You can call me "J." I am 23 years old and I live in Australia. I've been drinking heavily around 80-90% of my days for the past 2 years or so, and lightly on the other 10-20%, likely averaging around 6-10 drinks a night. And given the fact that I am only around 60kg, that's pretty substancial. Nearly all of the time, my drinking is done before bed, and rarely have I ever demanded a drink to start my day or help me get through a hurdle. However, I still feel both a physical and a psychological hold that this stuff has on me. I should also note that over the past few years, I have also battled heavy use of amphetamines and MDMA (ecstasy), but those never got beyond a few days a week, and I am currently not flirting with those anymore. However, that usage may still be playing a role in my current physical state.

I first started drinking because my life was full of bona fide problems, problems that genuinely were not my fault, and I just wanted to escape. However, recently I have taken a step back to realize that my backdrop is not that bad at all right now, however I am doing my best to sabatoge it with my closet drinking. I have a genuinely nice girlfriend, I am about to complete my Master's degree, I have more friends now than I ever have in my life and I have all the making for a bright future (something that I worried I would never find before I even had my first drink). However, I'm still in tears everynight, suffering from something that's simply come to be pathetic. Hence it's time to give it up.

I've also, over the past few months, for the first time in my life really started to feel like crap physically. I no longer am maintaining an exercise routine, I find myself coughing/dry heaving a lot, my intestines often hurt and I just don't have as much energy. I also do not feel as mentally fresh as I did a few years ago, and being only 23, that feels pretty threatening. Agan, it's time to give it up.

I have decided to do a home detox over the next week, and hopefully be free of this monster very soon. This is my second day of the program, but yesterday and tonight I have had a single pint (which does nothing cognatively for me at this point), tomorrow and the day after I will have a single beer, and then hopefully beyond that I will be alcohol-free. I am loading up on vitamins, supplements and water, along with using valerian to sleep. So far I have been managing, with it not being too drastic as to interfere with my daily routine (well, except for the insomnia). But I never had much of a routine anyway, so go figure!

Aside from acute nausea, liver/abdominal (piercing) pain, insomnia, leg cramps and a general malaise, the only symptom that is absolutely torturing me is what I want to call "the electricity." Ever since I began to taper, I have been getting horrible brain zaps and feelings of electricity in my body. Back a few years ago, I went through Effexor withdrawal, which gave me brain zaps, and these are quite reminiscent. Though these ones are less triggered by quick head movements, but instead usually happen when a noise suprises me (for example, a door is closed, music turns on, etc.) I get an instant surge of "electricity" that feels like it's both in my brain and in the back of my eye sockets. I hear a little sound, too, which I can only describe as a little zap that my computer likes to often do. I am also getting these in my feet and lower legs, but those are more randomized and less triggered. Every once and a while, I get one throughout my entire body. And late at night, I almost feel like my feet are "tingling" with electricity. Pins and needles feeling, sure, but with a little extra.

These shocks are not fun. While I am not really shaking in the prototypical way that alcoholics are portrayed to, I am feeling these zaps in the same places that others shake. These zaps are getting really scary. I note that the zaps are pretty much null at the begginning of my day, and progress as the day goes on.

I am also getting a resurgence of sleep paralysis, something that I have not had since I was a kid. It's not a fun experience at all!

I reckon that perhaps my (ab)use of amphetamines and mdma could be the culprit for the electricity, and it just remained dormant until I tried to go sober? I've read literature that suggests that both of these are symtoms of such abuse, whereas not a lot of stuff seems to exist linking this to alcohol withdrawal. I just find it odd that if this is the case, it only started with my detox.

So my general question would be to any of you out there, does this electricity stuff sound familiar? If so, how did it relate to the continuance of your detox? Did anyone else, by chance, detox during a time in their life where "upper" drugs were also playing a role?

Other than that, I feel really good about this being the first "real time" of all of the times I've tried to quit. It was a wild ride, sure, with some good times and plenty of bad. I hope that I can come out of this still young and strong, but with a much greater appreciation for life.

Thank you to all who read this and/or reply.