Hi Suzette,
You don't sound pathetic at all. You're going through so much right now, of course you are vulnerable. When I stopped drinking, I realized that I had no boundaries whatsoever, none. It's been hard and the frustrating thing is, it's especially hard to set boundaries with people who have stepped on you, in the past. But, it's the best gift you can give to yourself.
Be kind to yourself, Suzette!