Thanks to everyone for the advice
I have been reading this thread and others trying to get a bearing on my situation and I think I've just fallen into a bad habit. I admit I drink too much, probably in the region of 40 pints of lager and 4 or 5 bottles of wine a week on average so am going to try stopping tommorow.
I have 1st drink syndrome 95% of the time and always have, but I realise that's never realistically gonna change. Its the day after depression and anxiety thats the worst for me, unable to talk to anyone and scared of everything. It used to be the memory loss but now I tend to drink mainly at home so whatever I do is contained in a way. I`m not a angry drinker so my wife doesn't get to stressed although she does moan about the quantities.
The hardest thing is, I like drinking, I like the way it makes me feel to a point, maybe 6 or 7 beers but then I can't stop until I'm too tired or drunk to carry on.
Part of me thinks I have a problem but part of me doesn't cos 10 years ago I was a lot worse, so it seems to have got better but hasn't gone away. It has become more civilised to a degree which makes it harder to realise there's a problem. I used to drink neat vodka at 6am on the way to work to straighten myself up, pub at lunchtime and spent most evenings drunk while on cocaine or/and exctasy. I would do it for about 4 or 5 days solid then I would stop for a day or two until the aches and pains had gone then start again.
Now my body takes longer to get over it, I'm getting older (34) and I dont know if I will last another 30 years if i carry on. I think subconsiously I`m managing it, but badly, just keeping myself out of big trouble but teetering on the edge all the time.
Bring on tommorow
Sorry for the waffle
EB