Respeckting, I'm not necessarilly saying codependency isn't bad. Theissue I'm trying to clarify in mind is where the line is drawn. I'm generally considered to be a nice guy, which means I'm polite, considerate, thoughtful, etc. What I'm trying to seperate in my mind is which context makes an action considerate, or co-dependent. That's the tricky part.
If I clean up the house because my AW is busy doing school work, that's considerate. If I clean up the house because she's been too drunk to do it, that's co-dependent. If she rages at me because she's drunk, and I leave the room, that's setting a boundary. If she apologizes, then what do you do? She doesn't mean it, because she's just going to do it again. If she wants wine, and I don't buy it, that sets the boundary. If we go grocery shopping and she buys wine, did I just allow her to violate a boundary?
This is sooooo confusing.
Redd