Thank you zendust, SS, and ananda.
I honestly don't know what's next. I know I need professional help...obviously I have very poor coping skills...but I need money for that. The way things are where I live, all the free care is being used up by many poor folks. I know, find a sliding scale place...I really need to find solid employment first.
I feel like I can't be around people for right now. That's one of many reasons I quit my job. It really does take a lot of energy for me to deal with humanity. That's why I mostly keep to myself, whether I'm okay or not.
I want to run away. I know I cannot...but a change of scenery would be nice.
I'm sorry I'm posting so much, people.