i'm overwhelmed! thanks so much for all your kind replies! made it through day 3 and am well into day 4 now. it seems the longer the day goes on, the worse my problems get. is that because i would always drink in the afternoon and the closer it gets to my preferred start time, my mind and body is telling me it needs the alcohol?
ironically, i realized that day 1 for me was on my daughter's 23rd birthday. and i have reconciled with my wonderful boyfriend who fell victim to my alcoholism as well on the same day. he has been a pillar of strength for me through these horrible symptoms/physical problems. i've heard valium or xanax can help. should i pursue that?
thanks so very much for having this group. i look forward to being a member of this board and am already taking on some of your advice. maybe someday i can help someone else!
oh, and on the topic of AA, i live in a small town and because of my profession, i am terrified it will hinder my chances of getting a full-time job in my field. i "fill in" for people on a regular basis and have found out that i have smelled like alcohol when i show up in the morning on more than one occasion and that may have something to do with me not getting hired for a position already. another embarrasment!
i do have a copy of the big book and have been reading it, but my threshhold for pain is not very high at all!
meanwhile, trying to stay strong!!!!
thx again all!