Hi Chris - I know it's so very hard, but at least now there is no doubt in your mind what has to be done. It took me many false starts, but I finally got it, and I have 8 mos. sober after decades of drinking.I never thought I could learn to live without my "friend" and constant companion. I also took drinks to work with me (had my own private bathroom to stash it in, how convenient). In the beginning no one knew, but I finally crashed and burned and totally humiliated myself. I have the same path of destruction behind me as you do, but I'm here to tell you it can all be built back up again and your life can be even better than before. You'll be stronger and wiser, and you'll learn to appreciate and treasure every sober day.