Welcome to SR!
Sounds like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. That is a good place to start.
As you may have figured out, alcoholism is in part and obsession of the mind. The cravings will be there in early sobriety and that is why it is so difficult to quit. You stop for a couple of days then a craving hits and you have no way to defend against it.
I would say take it a day at a time, try AA again and this time get a sponsor and work the steps. If you truly want to quit, this will help you get on the right path.
Thanks for posting and welcome.
